I didn't get nauseous today! Not even once!

So happy :) :) :)

endoscopy and colonoscopy today - no idea what to expect. going to wear my pj's to the procedures though.

the flushing part was last night - didn't/couldn't drink all the liquid stuff they gave me. think i was in the bathroom most of the night. haven't eaten since noon yesterday - not allowed to until after 4:30ish tonight. tired... hungry... gonna try to get some more sleep before my ride gets here.

something funny

Before I recount the incident that happened today, I have to backflash so you can appreciate the humor in this.

My big brother's best friend's last name is Youngers. For the sake of his privacy, I'm just going to call him "John" Youngers. Anyway, growing up, my brother would always refer to him as Youngers when he spoke about his best friend. One day, my dad said, "Why is his last name Youngers? He's only going to get older. His name should technically be John Older." So for many years now, my dad and I have referred to my brother's best friend as Older.

Anyway, on my way out from work tonight, I was saying goodnight to some co-workers in passing...

"G'night, Seifert."
"G'night, Vone."

"G,night, Z."
"G.night, Young Lady."
And then without a second thought, in popped to my head - "goodnight, Old Man."

Thank goodness I didn't say it out loud! The guy isn't old at all!

nervous.... dr's appt tomorrow...

today's dr appt

Went back in to see my doctor today - following up from my last appt.

Apparently, acid isn't necessarily the cause of whatever's going on inside me because the meds didn't help me like they were supposed to. He also told me that the results from the tests I took a month ago show that my liver functions are slightly elevated, whatever that means. I have to go in tomorrow for an ultrasound on that part of my body. And I guess I have to go in for a GI consult sometime later- no clue what that means either.

I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything from the time I wake up until the time I have my test done tomorrow... I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings.

At least it isn't invasive... yet.

Perspective

I got this message in an email today... Another one that I enjoyed enough to want to share. :)

* * *

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would beconsidered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:"I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.

"The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Pass this on to family, friends and acquaintances and help themrefresh their perspective and appreciation. "Life is too short and friends are too few."

* * *

Hope that you got something out of this. :)

the music - it's back

After a series of events that happened over the past few months, I feel the music again. It's back, and it's pulsing.

I thought it disappeared.

I'm so glad... so glad.

The Two Wolves

I got this in an email the other day. I rather enjoyed it.

* * *

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all..

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grand son thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

Blessed

Naomi came to visit me this weekend – the first time she’s been on “my turf”. We had a fantastic time this weekend. I got her a couple presents – an orchid and some nice sunglasses, and boy was I squirming with excitement to give them to her. It took all I had to not tell her, so I avoided calling her all week until the night before she came to town and am proud to say that I didn’t mention the gifts at all. When she got here, I gave her a grandiose tour of my place, and then of course, I broke out the presents. I was delighted that she loved them all. :)

We hopped on over to the World Food Festival (had to go for a work thing.), tried different foods, people watched (oh the things we saw and the comments we made… hehehe), shopped for the perfect orchid pot and a dress for my upcoming gala, painted like crazy, and talked about all kinds of things until the wee hours of dawn.

Woke up, made great breakfast, broke out my new tea set, went to church, came home and showed her a bunch of pictures...

Played piano (she played the song I wrote that I taught her… so proud of her).

Then it was time for her to go home. She promised that she’d come back and visit again.

I’ve known her since third grade, and needless to say, she’s stuck around ever since then – my best friend.

Knowing how life takes its course and how people come and go, I’m amazed at the number of people I’ve met, the friends I’ve made, and how much they care. Despite the things I’ve been going through lately and the things I’ve been through in the past, I think I’m quite possibly the luckiest girl ever. I’ve got the greatest family and friends in my life – I’m truly blessed and for that I am truly grateful.

I have a bandaid on my arm from where they took my blood today.

It makes me look like a badass...

hehehe

if miracles exist...

I would wish that both my stomach and shoulder areas would get better at the same time.

So I could sleep through an entire night.

I wonder if that's asking for too much?

random thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about getting eye surgery lately. A big part of me doesn't want to rely on contact lenses and glasses to see anymore. I wonder what it would be like to see clearly without them... I've been dependent on them for so long that I wonder if it'd feel wierd to not have to go through the process of putting them in every morning and removing them at night.

On another note, I got the coolest tea set when I went to Minneapolis this past weekend. I haven't broken it out and used it yet. I think I'll break it out when my best friend comes to visit me this weekend.

Can you believe it? My best friend's coming to visit me. She's really coming. I'm so glad.

I love my townhouse.

On a clear, perfect night, I can lay on my couch, and I've got the best view of a moonlit night.

It's 3:30 a.m.

My stomach and back hurts.

My shoulder burns.

Yippidy-do.

I need to get up in 2.5 hrs anyway...

I can't wait to see Hasan and OJ again. It's been 2 - 3 years now.

moving day

Some fat, black guy tried to hit on me yesterday while I was moving, tired, and cranky... not to mention, I probably looked like hell froze over at the time. Here's how it happened:

"Excuse me, Miss."

"Yes?" Why would anyone stop me if they didn't have a good reason to?

"What's your name?"

"Vone."

"Are you married?" whaaaaaat? is he serious????

"Yes." Lie #1

"How many years you been married?"

"Five." Showed him five fingers. FIVE. Get the picture, punk. Anyway, Lie #2.

He does a double take like he couldn't believe it. I start walking away.

He yells, grinning simultaneously, "Are you happy?"

I glance over my shoulder, "Yeah!" Semi-lie: I'm happy, just not married.

Got back to my apartment. Decided to take a break so I wouldn't have to run into him again.

Anyway, I was so proud of myself for actually lying that I texted some of my friends about it.

Stupid man.

Home inspection went well for the most part. Although we couldn't get the light fixture in the living room to work, so there might be some wiring issues to address. Also, while we were there, we couldn't get any hot water, so tomorrow I'll find out if the water heater is in working order or not.

Anyway, super tired. Time for bed.

(Just thinking... I might really have my own place soon.... and I can do it all how I want to do it... schematically, warm and cool colors, pictures, plants... excited... :)

I really don't have any news to share. Work life has been hectic lately... my teammates are out, and since I'm the only one that's in the office this week, I have to train the newest team member on everything (keeping in mind that I'm relatively new to the team myself).

Anyway, aside from training, I've got new reports to run for teammates who are currently MIA, agents to take care of, not to mention, I'm on a corporate United Way committee at my company as well as the regional United Way committee... both of which I'm a lead in.

That being said, I've got meetings all over the place and a person to train, plus I have to leave work early tomorrow to inspect the townhouse with the inspector... and I'm leaving work early on Friday for the weekend...

To be honest, it's actually kind of fun. It reminds me of what my schedule used to be like... all over the place with lots of random projects/people to manage. It makes me miss my last job. But I do like my new job too.. and I like all the things that are going on right now. :)

The only thing that I'm thinking, though, is that maybe I need to cut back on extracurriculars for now... since I've not been feeling particularly well for the past few weeks especially... I don't have the energy to do much after work... and now that there's big potential that I'll be moving into my new place pretty soon, I feel like I need to put my energy into packing and cleaning up my current home.

Good friends are the greatest thing to have

Sometimes they hold the flashlight for you when you're lost in a dark cave

Thank you, Des. Thank you, Ree. :)

happy :)

Things are going well lately.

Found a townhome that I like.

Found a guy that I like.

Was asked to be a cultural ambassador for my company as a representative for my company as well as the city.

So happy.

:)

my thursday person...

I'm kinda sad... tomorrow's Thursday....
and my Thursday person moved away.. all the way to Oregon....

I wonder what tomorrow's going to be like now.... pish posh...

while i was M-I-A...

I was actually in Omaha with one of my friends... we went to the Henry Doorly Zoo, movies, shopped, Qwest center, couple restaurants... great fun!

When I got back home, I took about an hour nap, and then headed up to Ames to hang out with some of my friends... until 2 a.m.! Needless to say, I was exhausted by the time I got home... bc I'd been on the go for about three days..

Woke up Sunday morning... did some research and relaxed for a couple hrs... and then went out to have Dim Sum with a friend and her family... then we went to Wal-Mart.... the mall... and caught the Simpson's Movie... and then over to Ringga's to see her and little Alexander... adoooorable... :) got home around 8/8:30 p.m.... and called my parents... and then it was time to relax for about an hour and head to bed... that's it...

To some, I might have been M-I-A... to me, I was just busy.... relaxing.... on vacation.... greaaaat times. :)

I wonder...

...why does food taste better when you have someone to share it with?

...why is "13" considered a bad number?

...and why oh why do some people never learn?

Because I promised...

It's been awhile since I've last blogged about even the remotest happenings in my life... until now that is. I told my good buddy that I'd start back up with blogging so she'll have something to do during her days now. (Who ever would have thought that my life would be that interesting? haha)

Anyway, it was at work today that I decided my next personal project would be to figure out a good fish dish to make for Des that doesn't include any onions or garlic... oh man... so I'm thinking.... some ginger, tomatoes... and not sure what else yet! I wonder if spicy food is off limits too....

On another note, I've been having a few completely clumsy days. This past weekend, I went to my dear friend's wedding and met a bunch of great people. On my trip back home, I went up to Ames for a friend's graduation luncheon...

...where I proceeded to tip over a huge glass of water (thank goodness no one was sitting across the table from me). When the waiter came back with our meals, I managed to flick some water (who knew that there was water on my hand???) as I was raising my hand. THEN, yesterday (Sunday) I managed to knock my elbow into my just-poured glass of water.... elbow hurt, water alllllllllll over the kitchen flour.... I swear.... if anyone ever thought I was graceful in any way, I think this weekend proves exactly how NOT graceful I am.....

What else is going on... stupid weather's making my shoulder act up a lot... so not sleeping too fantastically well.....

I went and saw Destri and Carissa this weekend, for the first time ever. You know how they say like mother, like daughter? Carissa is a DOLL. I wanted to hold her, but she's so tiny.... so I just watched Des hold her and rock her to sleep.

Got an email from Reena too.... I've missed her!

Meeting new people, making friends....

I'm in a happy place right now. :) I've got some fantastic people in my life. :)

Visiting my brother

Got into Phoenix on June 29th.

How to summarize my trip... hmmmmmmmmm.... interesting, fun, and.... entertaining.

What'd I do while I was out here?

• Stare at all the cacti and marvel over it each time,
• met my brother's good friends and hung out with them,
• let my brother drag me off to his friends' parties and remained the observant wallflower (people watching is always interesting),
• ate sushi, chinese seafood buffet, somethin'-somethin'-teja (near ASU),
• took pictures of my brother,
• went shopping like maaaaaaaaaaaaad (my poor checkbook... oh and most of the stuff we bought was NOT for me *phew*),
• played piano,
• never slept in....
  

and now I am tiiiired. I'm waiting in the airport for my flight to arrive so I can board the plane and sleep. looking forward to it too...

I kinda miss my brother already too...moron...

things that make me...

...MAD:

1. stupid shoulder
2. stupid people
3. stupid weather

...HAPPY:

1. family
2. good friends
3. good food
4. good sleep

...SAD:

1. stupid shoulder
2. waste of good food
3. like I'd really tell you (hahaha)

doctors and whatnot

Thursday I went in for my EMG test to test out what the nerve situation is in my shoulder. Two parts of the test: First, they wrap some wires around your fingers and then proceed to send shocks through different parts of your arm, causing your arm to jerk. They test the amount of time it takes the shock to travel down to your arm to make sure that it's normal.
Second, they stick a needle in different parts of your arms and ask you to push against their hand to get you to flex your muscle.

The shocking part wasn't terribly painful... just a little... shocking.

The needles... OUCH. Usually, I like to watch people when they stick me with needles (for example, when they take your blood, you just gotta watch...). But since I was laying on my back, I couldn't watch him stick the needle in. He stuck me in various spots, ranging from down in my hand all the way up through my arm, shoulder, and to the back part of my neck. I can still see the needle marks in my arm. I'm a little sore too... my doctor said that I might get internal, if not external, bruising from the needles.... and boy oh boy are they internal bc I feel like someone punched me in a couple different spots.

Conclusion from Dr. 1: The good news is that I don't have any nerve damage. My nerves are just extremely sensitive to everything and irritable right now. The not so fantastic news: I've got mild carpal tunnel in my wrist. He said it wasn't anything to really worry about, and it could be from when I landed on my hand.

Following the EMG testing, I went on to the next Doctor. He put me through a short series of motion tests. Apparently, I'm "gifted" with flexibility, meaning my shoulder can be pushed back a lot further than normal people... which is probably why it popped out the way it did when I fell. Anyway, he said that there's a possibility that the cartilage in the the back area of my rotater cuff may be slightly torn., but nothing worth doing surgery over. He said that once the structures around it (rotater cuff muscles I'm assuming) are strengthened, it should get better. How much longer? He said it would be a week by week thing... and that I would have both good days and bad days.

How do I avoid the bad days? Don't do anything that hurts.

Conclusion: two prescriptions: cortisol pills for a week, and painkillers for the bad days

Overall conclusion: I'm relieved to finally hear what's up with the shoulder because not knowing was one of the most frustrating things. I need to be more patient for a bit longer it seems. I just hate the rollercoaster ride is all.... three times I thought I was getting better, only to find myself coasting downhill each time... so hopefully from this point on, it's all uphill. I can't stand the spiral downwards anymore.... it makes me cry... and I'm not normally a crier...

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... my goal is to be well enough to go fishing this summer. Wohooo. :)

Early last week, I was telling folks that I was emotionally drained and that I didn't have the energy to cry anymore [from my shoulder]. But I spoke too soon because last Friday was an awful day. [Thank goodness my parents came this weekend... they're the best people in the world.]

I'm tired of the burning sensations and the headaches....and I'm tired of being cold because my shoulder can't take any warmth or heat without flaring up. I'm tired.

And my last physical therapy session is this Thursday. And I'm scared because I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm not better and I don't have someone to guide me through this pain and give me tips about how to be more comfortable throughout the day. Everytime I think about this Thursday being the last day, tears start to well up in my eyes and I inevitably find my cheeks wet.

I did my shoulder exercises a few minutes ago and my fingers still tingle. I wish I could push Thursday off for a few more months.. I'm not ready for my last session.

I'm so tired...

....that I can't seem to find the bag of shampoo that I just bought yesterday....(did I leave it at the salon?)
....that I thought my physical therapy was at 4p.m. today when it was actually at 7:30 a.m....(so I had to reschedule...)
....that my appetite is shot....(eating is a social thing right now... otherwise I'd rather just curl up and rest)

I wonder when I'll be back to 100%... I still can't deal with any heat/warmth against my shoulder, resulting in lack of sleep lately. It's only 9pm right now, but I think I'm ready for bed. Crazy, eh?

My feet have been dragging for a couple days though... so tired.

Goodnight :)

dagnabbit...

I missed Grey's Anatomy last night...

Oooooooooooh well. I had fun with a couple friends last night. :)

too much time...

You think you know someone...

Everyday she smiles, and the world sees her as a happy person, carefree and easygoing. Until...

someone makes her angry...

So she heads out on a mission: to assasinate an unexpecting someone. Of course no one knows her true mission...

BUT

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! She doesn't know that Destri knows!

Tee Hee!!!

(the end)

Destri's so wise and kind. Everyone needs a Des. :)

on another note, the only American Idol judge who's being honest tonight is Simon...

either that or he's the only one who can really recognize talent...

and there isn't any (talent) tonight

and witty comebacks from the contestants are never that witty... morons...

Once again, I feel the not-so-pleasant effects from my physical therapy session...

Maybe it's bc I chose not to have her tape me up today.... but I didn't want the tape bc last time, it felt like the tape was only contributing towards the pain...

The good news is that my arm isn't as shaky as before. Maybe this is the kind of sore that it's supposed to be after physical therapy.... it's not the same shooting pain....

Although.. I can feel my bone shift into the wrong spot every now and then.... not to mentioin the tingling sensation in my fingers....

I'm in such a bad mood.

Chinese Lunar New Years Day

Great day yesterday! Started out with trying to sleep in, didn't work out so well considering the shoulder wasn't having it... so I "slept in" til about 7:30 a.m. Meaning, I reluctantly crawled out of bed at that time. The next few hours of the day were spent trying to figure out what I wanted for breakfast and talking to my parents... browsed on the internet.. popped in a couple DVDs into the system... and after staring blankly at the television, fell asleep again. Woke up, and then talked to Bing for awhile! Yaaaaay. It's been so long since I've talked to him. :)

I spent the evening/night with San et al, and it was fantastic! I had so much fun. I haven't seen a lot of people in what feels like nearly forever. San, Kim, Christopher, etc. are just like family to me. :) So I don't think I could have spent my day better!

Plus, Mollie's back and it's been awhile since I've seen her. Now I have someone I can watch Thai/Thai-dubbed movies with! :)

Oh, it was such a great night! We all talked about whatnot, discussed musicians/bands for the upcoming festival, laughed a lot, caught up... etc etc.

And then there was a whole, entire hodge podge of musicians there! And they were all jamming out in the basement. From 12 yr-old to...ehm... not sure how much older (maybe middle-age?), they were singing and playing guitars and creating music... It's been so long since I've been able to just sit and listen to people strumming away. It was fantastic.

Oh, and I got three hugs last night. Good way to start the new year, right? :)

One other thing, someone asked if I wanted to sing with them sometime with their jazz band. Doesn't that sound like fun? I've never done jazz before, but I'm excited. Yaaay! :)

Yesterday morning I went into my physical therapy session feeling pretty good, and then I left feeling semi-well.

We sonogrammed my scaline muscle, which was (in theory) not supposed to affect my shoulder. (The last time we sonogrammed it, my shoulder flared up really bad.) Then we taped it up. An hour later, while I was at work, my shoulder started to feel funny... so I had to loosen the tape (with the help of a friend... can't reach where the tape starts). And then a couple hours later it started to burn again. I don't think I'm going to do the sonogram thing anymore... I think my body hates it.

Anyway, I was worn out by the end of the day... especially because I was apprehensive of what the next day (today) would bring.... because, to be honest, I'm scared of being in more pain again. The last time it flared up, it was just traumatic.

On another note, Destri sent me an email that made me chuckle. You'd never guess what her alarm clock sounds like in the morning.... hahahahahaha... Thanks, Des!!! :)

stream of conciousness

It's been a while since I last wrote... I know, I have no real excuse for not writing. Since I last wrote anything.. hmmm.. let's see.. in late November, I slipped and fell.. resulting in shoulder issues since then. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster ride... 2.5 months of emotionally draining moments... and plenty of pain along the way. There was a time my physical therapist and I both thought I was making progress, and then suddenly everything took a bit of a nose dive... and I found myself in excruciating pain... had a few nights of absolute despair and tears... other nights found me extremely irritable... but most nights too tired to do much of anything. Several times I tried to stay positive, put things into perspective... but it's hard to patient and positive when pain rules how you get through the day... and you can only put things into perspective so many times before you get leary of finding new ways to see the cup half full. As of this week, I've been feeling better... happier about being in less pain... hoping for the best (that I'm finally on the road to recovery), yet at the same time, knowing that it could get worse... like last time.

Good thing... we took it easy at my last physical therapy session... and today I wasn't in more pain than normal.... not like how it's been the past few weeks. I'm still popping painkillers and icing the crap out of my shoulder (to the most enjoyable feeling of cold numbness).

Anyway, I'm not blogging today to complain. Just update. See... mass emails seem to be so impersonal... blogging is probably even more impersonal, but this is for my friends... so my goal is to be a little better about keeping this puppyupdated... as I'm not always the greatest at keeping in touch as of late... especially when I know that I'll have to repeat myself to more than one person... and with my shoulder/arm acting the way it's been, I can only bear to be on my computer (sitting in one position) for so much time before I need to reposition for comfort.

Other than that... life is good. Work has been extremely busy, and I'm loving it. Sometimes it's hard to concentrate because I have to retrieve the good old ice pack and reposition and all of the above mentioned stuff, but it's okay. I've got projects to work on, and it's great. :) My boss is absolutely wonderful. She's the greatest. I love working with her. The other folks in the region are great to work with as well. I love my company. :)

I think I'm going to visit my big brother in Pheonix this year. I'm pretty excited because I haven't seen him in forever!!! It'll be great fun. I wish I could afford to go while it was still cold here... I hate this dreadful, biting, cold weather. Anyway, this is going to be a good year. :)

I'm thinking about visiting Abi this year too... we'll see what my funds allow for...

Oh and my friend Dawn is getting married in April. :) She's so great! I'm so excited for her. :) She deserves wonderful, wonderful things.

Today's Valentines Day. It's such a cute holiday. I wonder... does love change people?