doctors and whatnot

Thursday I went in for my EMG test to test out what the nerve situation is in my shoulder. Two parts of the test: First, they wrap some wires around your fingers and then proceed to send shocks through different parts of your arm, causing your arm to jerk. They test the amount of time it takes the shock to travel down to your arm to make sure that it's normal.
Second, they stick a needle in different parts of your arms and ask you to push against their hand to get you to flex your muscle.

The shocking part wasn't terribly painful... just a little... shocking.

The needles... OUCH. Usually, I like to watch people when they stick me with needles (for example, when they take your blood, you just gotta watch...). But since I was laying on my back, I couldn't watch him stick the needle in. He stuck me in various spots, ranging from down in my hand all the way up through my arm, shoulder, and to the back part of my neck. I can still see the needle marks in my arm. I'm a little sore too... my doctor said that I might get internal, if not external, bruising from the needles.... and boy oh boy are they internal bc I feel like someone punched me in a couple different spots.

Conclusion from Dr. 1: The good news is that I don't have any nerve damage. My nerves are just extremely sensitive to everything and irritable right now. The not so fantastic news: I've got mild carpal tunnel in my wrist. He said it wasn't anything to really worry about, and it could be from when I landed on my hand.

Following the EMG testing, I went on to the next Doctor. He put me through a short series of motion tests. Apparently, I'm "gifted" with flexibility, meaning my shoulder can be pushed back a lot further than normal people... which is probably why it popped out the way it did when I fell. Anyway, he said that there's a possibility that the cartilage in the the back area of my rotater cuff may be slightly torn., but nothing worth doing surgery over. He said that once the structures around it (rotater cuff muscles I'm assuming) are strengthened, it should get better. How much longer? He said it would be a week by week thing... and that I would have both good days and bad days.

How do I avoid the bad days? Don't do anything that hurts.

Conclusion: two prescriptions: cortisol pills for a week, and painkillers for the bad days

Overall conclusion: I'm relieved to finally hear what's up with the shoulder because not knowing was one of the most frustrating things. I need to be more patient for a bit longer it seems. I just hate the rollercoaster ride is all.... three times I thought I was getting better, only to find myself coasting downhill each time... so hopefully from this point on, it's all uphill. I can't stand the spiral downwards anymore.... it makes me cry... and I'm not normally a crier...

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... my goal is to be well enough to go fishing this summer. Wohooo. :)

Early last week, I was telling folks that I was emotionally drained and that I didn't have the energy to cry anymore [from my shoulder]. But I spoke too soon because last Friday was an awful day. [Thank goodness my parents came this weekend... they're the best people in the world.]

I'm tired of the burning sensations and the headaches....and I'm tired of being cold because my shoulder can't take any warmth or heat without flaring up. I'm tired.

And my last physical therapy session is this Thursday. And I'm scared because I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm not better and I don't have someone to guide me through this pain and give me tips about how to be more comfortable throughout the day. Everytime I think about this Thursday being the last day, tears start to well up in my eyes and I inevitably find my cheeks wet.

I did my shoulder exercises a few minutes ago and my fingers still tingle. I wish I could push Thursday off for a few more months.. I'm not ready for my last session.

I'm so tired...

....that I can't seem to find the bag of shampoo that I just bought yesterday....(did I leave it at the salon?)
....that I thought my physical therapy was at 4p.m. today when it was actually at 7:30 a.m....(so I had to reschedule...)
....that my appetite is shot....(eating is a social thing right now... otherwise I'd rather just curl up and rest)

I wonder when I'll be back to 100%... I still can't deal with any heat/warmth against my shoulder, resulting in lack of sleep lately. It's only 9pm right now, but I think I'm ready for bed. Crazy, eh?

My feet have been dragging for a couple days though... so tired.

Goodnight :)